Dreams

夢

Once the interviewer asked me: “Have you fulfilled your childhood dream by becoming a photographer? For instance, have you bought yourself a Rolls-Royce?”

I found this question very moving, as I’d never wanted myself a Rolls-Royce. Before taking up photography, I’d owned a chain of dry laundries, and I still do. This is my major source of income. Thanks to this, I didn’t seek to monetize my photos, I sought to create beauty. I could afford to spend a lot of time on arranging an eye-catching shot even though I knew I wouldn’t make any profit this way, but only suffer losses: I’d spend money on the hotel, gas, clothes loan and outrageously expensive photography equipment. And you know, my happiness has nothing to do with buying a Rolls Royce, but with the fact that I found myself. I was 34 when I took the camera. At that time, my life was stable and quiet. Yet, something was itching inside of me, I was longing for creative fulfillment.

As a child, I received photography magazines; as a young adult, I admired Helmut Newton and David Hamilton, and once Instagram came to being, I tried myself in the art of photography. The era of digital photography was disappointing: a huge number of bodies, no aesthetics… And I thought that pure erotica had nothing to do with intentional sexuality and bright makeup; it’s about everyday life, routine clothes and ordinary life situations. I showed  that harmony and sexuality can be simple – as if you’re peeping through a keyhole.